Arete

The ancient Greeks got a lot of things right. That is at least my humble opinion.

I almost locked

Myself out of our apartment. Cold after a late night walk I realize the horror of thinking that my keys are resting safely within my coat pocket. But as soon as I think this, five minutes walking distance from my front door... The knowledge that they are instead resting treacherously upon my desk next to my computer dawns on me.

Oh the horror the horror of in the next second realizing that I do not have my cell phone on me.

But I am incredibly lucky, at the same time I reach the front gate someone else that I do not know is opening the door. I slip inside, get through the front door and am pleased to see that no one bothered to lock the apartment door.

Perhaps my Karma is picking up, I don't know. Maybe the concept of reversed Karma could be applied here: I have had a mountain of shit dumped on me lately and I really can not think even in my most vile state self disapprobation that I deserve some things. So perhaps some small strokes of luck are due to me to balance the universe out else it implode. Oh the beauty of solipsistic delusions.

Ok

So maybe it was not psychosomatic. I'll not go into detail as to what exactly my body has been doing since the last posts (now don't think it's THAT nasty) but anyway, I feel a lot better after being knocked to sleep for what is almost the equivalent of a full night.

The annoying side of the coin is that I still don't think I am capable of eating, and waking up before 4 in the morning is not exactly a great way to start the last day of your weekend...

Oh well, time will tell how this goes.

I can't tell...

I can't tell whether I am sick or not. I really can not tell. I do not know if the reason the piece of pizza I am very much wanting to get down is hindered by a reflex with its source in an actual infection in my body or if it is just psychosomatic.

This is at once both fascinating and very very scary...

I think I should lie down for a while now.

dot dot and dot

There is pain in this world my child. Sometimes, your body is hurt. You feel nauseas tender and weak. Sometimes, your mind feels sick, you are not yourself and your thoughts goes places where they are discouraged to venture.
Worst of all is when your heart is hurt. When it is pierced by a lightning rod sent flying from the hand of some angry god. The jolts will make you spasm and weep. Finally you will grow numb and existence will feel a trifle thing. Of little importance.

Send me a thought when you are alone, direct your heart to that empty place where you had me stored. Recollect without diluting those drops of emotion that were once so lustrous and rich in the chalice of your heart. May haps that is not possible, to view what once was through the blurring of the time that’s past. We wonder together if it is possible to reconstruct an emotion that has fled. To look with honest eyes upon what was once felt as the imperative of existence.
What can you do then when the reason one once had for breathing now seems so shallow? The well from which once all meaning was drawn seems dry and unsatisfying. Perhaps it was an illusion that it so could have quenched your thirst?
Or is it that appetites change and grow larger with time? Maybe it is not a voluntary thing to grow bored with sipping of the same ambrosia that used to propel you. Tick tock. Time has passed. What was delicious has turned to ash.
Values and emotions are readily pierced by the passage of time. Nothing is ever excused from that.

What is a constant relationship? Can it be kept by two conscious observers constantly judging the value of their interaction? At one point the hatchet must fall, severing the connection or at least breaking a thread from the connecting wire.

Will that be, before the dirge chimes and the justification for feeling is reached?

How you use it is the measure of all things

This post is inspired by a conversation I had recently with a girl who's name I will deliberately neglect to mention.

The conversation has been edited so that intermediate talk is removed, so that we can get to the point of this post as quickly as possible.

"You are the best guy I've ever been with in bed, no doubt about that."

(An elaboration on the above statement follows and my head swells a little in quite comfortable a way)

Then after some more discussing matters both related and non related we get to the fulcrum of the happy odyssey my ego had been undertaking since the above quotation.

"You have a small penis" While this is quoted out of context and without the exact wording that certainly is capturing the gist of the original statement.

So, put together we get a compliment about sexual performance par excellance and what according to cultural trends readily could be seen as an insult to ones anatomy if looking from the perspective of a Caucasian male in his early 20's. ...

So, regardless of the fact that size Obviously does not compensate for know-how in the sack, something which most people have learned by now from authors and sexual therapists appearing on late night TV.. there are still things to be said about this!

Put together, the statement becomes (as have been OK ed by the girl who uttered it originally)

"You have a small cock BUT you are also the person whom I have had the best sex with, hands down"

The fun starts when I start asking different people if this is, put together, an insult or a compliment.

Girl 1-4 I ask, says that it is without question a compliment.

The gay guy I ask agrees wholeheartedly. It is a compliment.

Now, the straight guy in his early 20s:

"I would take this as a slight insult, but there is not a lot one can do about it. I do not have any 20cm either I can safely say. "

There is more to this but it is clear that my own amusement when wondering about this is well founded. I think the first five people asked are correct, but still. The straight guy asked comes up with the short statement that most closely mirrors my own initial reaction. It FEELS like a slight insult even if it is really not.

Thank you Americanized culture and size obsession.

Let's play Lions!

"Now! Do you know what I call this children?
I call it the perfect start to an evening! The night is young, there is a beautiful girl... and someone is going to die! It is you by the way."

"What?"

"Ok, What do you say I give you three goes?"

"...Goes?"

"With the knife. I'll just stand here and you can give me your best shot three times and afterwards once you are done I'll break your neck."

"You what?"

"Trust me the neck's good, quick for you easy for me eveeerybody wins!"

(Girl) : "Billy just LEAVE!

"That's an option, I'd consider that because quite honestly I am only in this to fuck your girlfriend"

(Billy tries his three goes with the knife)

(Billy apparently gets his neck broken)

(Turns to girl)

"Ok Lions! Do you know anything about lions?"
(Girl now and hence) : "Lions...?"
"You know what happens when the head lion gets killed by one of the young ones? You know what the lionesses do? They go straight into heat for the new head of the family, its like the old hubby is laying on the grass all the cubs have been slaughtered and suddenly everyone is singing "Can You Feel The Love Tonight".

"Do you want to play lions...?"
"Please let me go!"
"Nohohohoh come on! Let's play Liooooonnssss"
(Girl runs)
"Don't run, not when we are playing lions. You know what runs? Food runs."
"Let me go!"
(Roars) "Ca-ca-ca-ca catch you later"

--------------------------

Scene is sort of over. I will give a cookie to the first to name the show, character and actor playing said character.

I do not think anyone will take me up on this, but if you do, play nice children...

finished learning the world (book)

"We teach that the soul is immortal;
we teach that there is a future life;
we teach that there is a Heaven in the ages far away;
but not for us..."

Restless Sundays

The weekend is over and the show must go on. Another week is starting, a week that's pretty much a blank slate so far. Nothing planned, but it is a safe bet that it will contain working, going to the gym and groaning over high food prices.

Come to think of it, my life from the point where I stand seems much like living in limbo. I have no immediate goals, no very serious concerns no strong wants or needs. I look at the path before me and find myself feeling more than a little indifferent. I need to find some creative outlet but I fail to find activities that manage to excite me.
Which is why, I realize, I have been working myself so hard in the gym for the past few weeks. It is an outlet for a lot of bottled up energy and frustration. It too seems slightly the oxymoron that I'm frustrated over not having anything to get emotional (e.g. feeling frustration) about!

Anyhow, I've managed to write a blog entry for the night. It does not hold much content in it's short length I will have to admit. The plan is to try and become a habitual blogger so that when something worth writing about does stumble into my life I won't be to lazy to sit down and write it down. Clever, am I not?

Goodnight.

Hi, I am Adam

Yes I have not written anything for quite some time. I blame the lack internet in the combination with privacy.

Tonight was another Oslo night. A Saturday Oslo night at that, albeit not a crazy one. Should I be regretful or thankful. Probably the latter.

These last few months have been interesting, I've relocated. I've drunk a bit of Amunds Pils, cheap Norwegian bear for the unenlightened. I've been home, I've been drunk at several establishments. I've met several interesting people, and many not so interesting.
A highlight was Sonnie sniffing a 28 years old blond girls hair in front of us in line for our coats at closing time. It is a strange world when we after that can convince her, and her friend that we are not stalker rapists and I at least end up kissing something semi-pretty. (Not the blond mother mind)

But enough of highlights, tonight I am alone. I am finding myself in the unpleasant position of being drunk enough to have impaired writing skills yet not drunk enough to stop brooding or fall into sweet forgetful sleep. I am going to eat, I am going to sleep. Just not yet.

A thought arose, that I might have an unhealthy fetish for girls named Maria. I am on my third pretty girl named Maria which have left me more than a bit disappointed. Other names belonging to people whom I am interested in has yet to reach two. It's still not all that statistically unlikely that I "fall" for more girls named Maria but I need to watch how this develops. A "fetish" (used for lack of a better term) for a name seems rather pathetic and out of character for me, but hey it's hard to rationalize everything.

I ought to write some more on a little project that I have, you might have guessed that it's poetry. In a strike of inspiration I started writing something when I was home in Karlstad over the easter and have yet to pursue any serious continuation here in Oslo. hopefully that will come as I feel that this may be the best thing I have ever written. So stay tuned for that.

Going Norway

Tomorrow, I'm going to Oslo. What I'll find there, I have no clue. Work? Perhaps. Booze? Nah too expensive. Thank God for semi-legal imports.

Tonight was OK. Drunk at nöjesfabriken. Wicky stuck to me like glue to a bearded Mormon, which was a bad thing. Left even before the before-closing-have-to-find-cheap-sex frenzy. Probably healthy for me but my dong disagrees.

Hope things will work out in Norway. Wish me luck folks. Goodnight.

Finally

I feel fed up with my own decadence. I'm going for a run to clear my head and start working on getting my body back to a healthy state.....

This is going to be so much agonizing fun.