How you use it is the measure of all things

This post is inspired by a conversation I had recently with a girl who's name I will deliberately neglect to mention.

The conversation has been edited so that intermediate talk is removed, so that we can get to the point of this post as quickly as possible.

"You are the best guy I've ever been with in bed, no doubt about that."

(An elaboration on the above statement follows and my head swells a little in quite comfortable a way)

Then after some more discussing matters both related and non related we get to the fulcrum of the happy odyssey my ego had been undertaking since the above quotation.

"You have a small penis" While this is quoted out of context and without the exact wording that certainly is capturing the gist of the original statement.

So, put together we get a compliment about sexual performance par excellance and what according to cultural trends readily could be seen as an insult to ones anatomy if looking from the perspective of a Caucasian male in his early 20's. ...

So, regardless of the fact that size Obviously does not compensate for know-how in the sack, something which most people have learned by now from authors and sexual therapists appearing on late night TV.. there are still things to be said about this!

Put together, the statement becomes (as have been OK ed by the girl who uttered it originally)

"You have a small cock BUT you are also the person whom I have had the best sex with, hands down"

The fun starts when I start asking different people if this is, put together, an insult or a compliment.

Girl 1-4 I ask, says that it is without question a compliment.

The gay guy I ask agrees wholeheartedly. It is a compliment.

Now, the straight guy in his early 20s:

"I would take this as a slight insult, but there is not a lot one can do about it. I do not have any 20cm either I can safely say. "

There is more to this but it is clear that my own amusement when wondering about this is well founded. I think the first five people asked are correct, but still. The straight guy asked comes up with the short statement that most closely mirrors my own initial reaction. It FEELS like a slight insult even if it is really not.

Thank you Americanized culture and size obsession.

Let's play Lions!

"Now! Do you know what I call this children?
I call it the perfect start to an evening! The night is young, there is a beautiful girl... and someone is going to die! It is you by the way."

"What?"

"Ok, What do you say I give you three goes?"

"...Goes?"

"With the knife. I'll just stand here and you can give me your best shot three times and afterwards once you are done I'll break your neck."

"You what?"

"Trust me the neck's good, quick for you easy for me eveeerybody wins!"

(Girl) : "Billy just LEAVE!

"That's an option, I'd consider that because quite honestly I am only in this to fuck your girlfriend"

(Billy tries his three goes with the knife)

(Billy apparently gets his neck broken)

(Turns to girl)

"Ok Lions! Do you know anything about lions?"
(Girl now and hence) : "Lions...?"
"You know what happens when the head lion gets killed by one of the young ones? You know what the lionesses do? They go straight into heat for the new head of the family, its like the old hubby is laying on the grass all the cubs have been slaughtered and suddenly everyone is singing "Can You Feel The Love Tonight".

"Do you want to play lions...?"
"Please let me go!"
"Nohohohoh come on! Let's play Liooooonnssss"
(Girl runs)
"Don't run, not when we are playing lions. You know what runs? Food runs."
"Let me go!"
(Roars) "Ca-ca-ca-ca catch you later"

--------------------------

Scene is sort of over. I will give a cookie to the first to name the show, character and actor playing said character.

I do not think anyone will take me up on this, but if you do, play nice children...