Delicious Venting (Part 1)

The last two weeks have consisted of some of the worst days of my life. This is not an understatement. I need to vent.

.....but instead of venting and in doing so, by all that which is probable, end up regretting posting something all too personal in a decisively public place I think I'll write about a related topic in a wholly unrelated way.

Adam is going to talk about sex.

So what about it? Everybody wants it, some of us have it and some are scared by it. Regardless of which category one belongs there lies a constant at the bottom of it. Sex frustrates everybody.

I'm 19. I state this because it underlines the fact that I by no means have some sort of sagely knowledge on the subject.

However I do feel that I'm sufficiently experienced to tell the difference between good sex and the kind you wish to commit ritualized suicide after having the displeasure of experiencing. Apart from this fact I think that I know something about all of the different positions (no pun intended) one can view the sex-issue from.

I'm horny as hell, which certainly means that I know about wanting it. I occasionally have it which means that I've managed to get a taste of the varying complications that ALWAYS seem to spring from it. Which incidentally are the same complications that often have me scared shitless. Thus I want it, have it and am scared by it.

Wanting sex is only natural right? I mean there's absolutely no sense to fighting your biology and biology has sex pinned right next to eating and taking a shit. Let's face it we're built for it. Denying it is the same as denying a part of our humanity which is an issue that's in itself a huge bag of worms. Sex needs, like most things, needs to be approached with the understanding that it's a part of everyone and that no amount of denial will change it. Let's just accept it and build from there.

So how does one build from the fact that I as a human being both want and need sex?
If I'm pretty, I can get drunk stumble and fall with my reasonably turgid meatrod (alcohol can do this or so I am told) into a more or less pretty and more or less drunk fellow human being. A night on the bar is as we all know a socially perfectly acceptable way to spend some or most of the days of the week and intercourse with a perfect stranger either above you or below you on the scale of of pruettyness is an undeniable source of amusement for either the own ego or that of your like-minded friends.
If I'm ugly I've been recently blessed with the introduction of free internet porn that any fourteen year old with half a brain can dive into in drink until it spills out again through every orifice.

Let's stop here. I just want to state that I'm freakishly aware that I'm a presumptuous ass for suggesting that everyone fall into one of the two above mentioned categories. Generalizing people into the ugly and the beautiful when considering what's politically correct is a huge no-no so before you start sharpening your various lynching accessories stop to consider that I may actually have a point.

I myself have occasionally ventured into either of the two avenues outlined above and what I've discovered is they both lead the afore mentioned frustration.
At least for me neither of the two paths lead to much satisfaction. The first path firstly leads to the kind of crappy sex that makes you want to put a very sharp blade into you abdomen and watch as you guts curl up in funny ways in places they just don't belong. Secondly there's probably nothing worse than waking up next to something you just don't want closer than ten feet away and fully clothed.
About porn I think there's much reason to dislike it because of the inherent lethargy of it. How can watching people do something that you yourself would kill to experience ever measure up to actually doing it yourself.
I sound overly judgmental, not all one night stands need to be horrid experiences and I don't cry myself to sleep after watching Rocco violate some east european girl.
But the point is this, by pursuing a fundamental need people get in all sorts of shitty situations not to mention states of mind. We've taken care of the problem of having a constant food supply and we've introduced water toilets yet we just keep complicating sex.









I'm going to continue this I promise. But for now I'll finish with a personal statement underlining just how fucked (oh the puns) my own personal view on sex can be:

I love women. I love sex. Obviously I want good sex.
Yet I do not like women that know have to have good sex.
Because the fact that they know how to have it, disturbs my sensibilities.

Contradictions cause conflict, and within the own mind they led to pain.

Goodnight.